dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
