sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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