I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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