at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
