No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
