She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You pole danced in your parka.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
