Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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