She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
me + whiskey = a bad person
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
