And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
