I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The ass gains better be worth it
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