i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize