The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
