I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we're making bets on your personal life
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
