a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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