yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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