If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
