I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
