I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
