yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
