Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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