oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
