well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It's blow job season.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize