Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
