pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
