I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
