i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
