Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
