When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize