do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
