what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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