This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
