I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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