Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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