In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
