Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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