i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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