theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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