Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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