I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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