So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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