Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
