so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
