Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this boner is exhausting
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
