Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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