wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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