you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
