so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
