I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
