No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
