before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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