I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
