I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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