Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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