She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
