i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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