You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
