Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
