i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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