He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I want a musical about memes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
