Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
