I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize