Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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