I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
