I didn't shave. On purpose
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
