I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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