They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
