I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize