it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize