Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
