You made me cry and you don't even care
D3 body, D1 cock
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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