whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
