not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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